I am a “feelings” person but I am also a thinker. This in turn has allotted many hours to ponder my precious emotions, behavior and thoughts. In short; I am my very own social psychologist…. all day, every day.

I think it’s important to explore possibilities and opportunities out of your personal comfort zone beyond trading Uggs for a pair of 4 inch stilettos.  What I am talking about is not immediately writing people off …however hindsight is 20/20 and then there is always the self-fulfilling prophecy theory but I digress.

I met a man who preached about the difference between entertaining goals and crushing them being the WANT. If someone truly WANTS some -thing,one, or whatever “it” may be, there will be a clear distinction between those that sorta think they might wish-washy mouth breather…you get what I am saying.

I believe this to be true in every aspect of life, even in the most ambiguous of desires i.e. dating.

Dating or the beginning of a relationship is representative of all that is great and risky in the world.  It truly becomes a combination of your immediate actions, in-actions, reactions, and responses to another person while analyzing whether or not they line up with what it is you desire in your life. Sometimes we can become so consumed with the idea of being with someone that rather than looking at who they are, we tend to try to make this person change into what we we need.

It’s like buying a boat expecting it to mow your lawn. Are we really so lonely and uncomfortable with ourselves that we will settle for a warm body to argue with rather than waiting for something that feels more like home?

So while the mental checklist of tangible prerequisites is on the table I think the more important exploration should be what we really want. And that takes some serious soul searching….

You should know what you WANT, not be scared to ask for it and have the courage to walk away from whatever isn’t suiting.

I wrote awhile back about wanting myself before wanting another and I promise this has not changed. I think I am pretty fucking amazing and I should be celebrated.

So what I’m getting at is …

If you want something and that something is a someone, you:

Pursue

Learn

Communicate

Show appreciation

Become transparent

Put their needs first

Compromise

And if you are doing these things and only left to feel depleted….LEAVE.

Don’t waste one moment more trying to set sail on a lawn mower.  Be your own sail boat and eventually another will pull up aside you to sail together.